The Real Me

I walk around every day pretending that everything is okay, knowing that deep down inside I am hurting. I do not really know how to show my feelings, I sometimes think that it would not matter even if I did. I just do not like to go around showing that things are bothering me. When something get to me long enough I do eventually talk about it. I was always accused by my dad that I was out sleeping around with guys. I guess I should have told him that men were the least of my interests. I have just recently came out to more of my family and so far it seems to be going good. I am pretty sure that people are figuring it out, but I am also nervous that if they haven't about how they will react. It is not going to change who I am, I am still the same girl that they know. I still have the same personality and I am still the happy go lucky person that most of my friends say that I am. I have been sitting and thinking about how to tell everyone. Should I even tell my dad? He would probably be better off not even knowing. On the other hand he has always made comments to my sister about how he thinks I might be a lesbian. A part of me is afraid to sit down and talk to him face to face in fear of how he will react. To all of you that read this post and you don't know that I am a lesbian, well, I guess you know now.

Being a lesbian does not change who a person is. I know people that have been friends for years and just because one of them came out, they had lost what they thought was a good friend. I lived with a family that took me in and of course when they suspected that I was dating another woman they told me I should move out or quit talking to that woman. I can say that there was nothing going on with her, we were just friends. As you probably guessed I moved out. At that moment I decided I was going to be me and not what someone wanted me to be. I told my sister that I was gay and then she helped me to eventually be proud of who I am. I did not go telling everyone then either. I was not till August or September of 2008 that I told my mom. I am slowly but surely letting people know and I guess this post is another step.

With all this said I am just going to say that if you don't want to be my friend because I am gay, then I do not feel that you were ever a true friend to me. All I have to say is that you are missing out on a good friend. I am not asking that you agree or disagree with my lifestyle, just that you accept me for who I am.