I have not posted for a while it is not that there is nothing to write about, just have not wrote. So far this has been a good month. I started it of with a vacation beginning Jan 30th and ended on Feb 8th. I returned to work for 2 days and now I am off the 11th untill the 17th. I did not really do to much on vacation, but i did play in some snow, I will post a video.
Today is Valentines Day and I am so happy. I have a wonderful BFF, that is totally understanding. Lots of love goes out to everyone and HAPPY HEART DAY!

I want to want

I want to want
I want to feel like I want
I feel like that sometimes.
Yes i want and it feels good too.
The feeling of desire is a terrible but yet an amazing feeling.
Maybe I do feel it, desire, or is it not.
Is it desire or is it love?
Is love just a need?
Why do I long to hear your voice?
In my mind I think I have nothing for anyone.
In my heart I feel I everything for someone.
Do you feel it too?

I Just Don't Know

Why is it so hard to let people know who I am? I find myself everyday struggling to tell people that I have know almost all of my life that I am a lesbian. Sure, they probably already know or have an idea, but there is still that thought in the back of my head that maybe they have not figured it out. I say to myself that if people can not like me for who I am then I should not care what they think.
I first came out to my sister, and it went well. I would talk to her and would ask her what she thought our mom would say. I then told my other sister and brothers. They did not have a problem with it either. That had been the extent of who I had told. Then I had came out at work and it seems that it all went well there also. In September of 2008 I told my mom and her response was " I am sure it is just a phase" I mean really a phase. I have been with a woman since 2002 and have been attracted to them since I could remember. So I am sure it is not a phase. I was surprised when my mom announced at our Christmas 2008 together that I was there with my girlfriend. I am thinking she is taking it well, we don't really talk about it. I also told my great friend from high school, two of my aunts on my dads side. For some reason I am finding it hard to tell everyone else that I know about my lifestyle.

A Big Little Snowman

Two or three days ago we got our first snow of the season. I have an amazing friend that lives in Florida and I was telling her that the weather was calling for snow. I also told her that if it happened to snow I would take pictures. Here are a few of the pics I sent to her.

The little snowman was kind of like a gift to my friend. She called me and asked me if the next time it snowed if I would build a snowman for her, so after talking to her the first chance I got I went out and made a snowman. I took pictures of it and sent them to her.

I sent this picture and when it came through on the phone all that could be seen was the top and the house, till u scrolled down. It made the snowman look big but when you scrolled the picture down you could see the hands and then you know it was a little snowman.

My friend was very grateful for these pictures and I am glad the they made her happy.

Dream (Photos Without A Face)

I am standing on what appears to be a lake that is frozen over. I see two other people with me, one of which is holding a photo of a face, but I can not see who's. They sat the photo on the ice and then somehow a layer of ice covers the photo. The person looks over at me and says it is stuck. I try to break the top layer of ice and I end up breaking it all. The photo falls into the water and the other person is trying to grab it but can't. I reached into the water and I get the photo. Then all of the sudden photos of feces were coming to the surface under the ice. I can not make out the people in the photo because the faces are rubbed out. Just like when u get a photo wet and you rub it the photo smears. I was walking on the ice trying to find a picture that was clear but there was not one.